måndag 1 augusti 2016

Dark poetry with happy ending about my journey with Her




Estranged

 I am lonely

 I am sad

 I got to know a few new people

 We became friends

 At least that's what I thought

 We ended up hurting each other

 I suppose it is better like this

 I am better of alone

 I am on my own

My heart is hurting

 My tears are running down my cheeks

 My soul is aching



 I wish I was like you my lady

 Strong powerful

 You wouldn't take crap from others

 You wouldn't cry of pain loneliness

 You wouldn't wonder around in sleepless nights?

 What you did wrong?

 Why others always end up hurting you?

 Why you are so weak so pathetic?

 Why no one cares?

 Why no one loves you no matter how you try

they don't wanna be your friend.



 I don't let anyone see my pain

 See my hurt

 How it hurts to not be accepted

 How it breaks my heart that I have

 No loveThe men I have known have all been assholes

 Why I can't I ever find love

 I don't seem to deserve love happiness

 I glare at others with hard black painted eyes my red hair shines as I snarls at others. Keep them away

 Make them run.

 Protect the damaged one

 Myself

 Put on my mask of indifference

 All weakness gone

 I am complete ice queen.



 Harsh cold barriers

 No one and nothing can break it

 I took my last emotions to build this

 Shield against the world so no one

 Can ever hurt me

 Cause me pain

 But inside these harsh walls of ice

 I cry

 I suffer

 I feel pain and misery

 I yearn for love

 I yearn for the sun

 Like a fading rose

 That's been left in the winters cold

 The sun love slowly melts the icicles

 Around my heart



People say my poems are trashy

 That my darkness depresses them

 What do they know?

 Living in the light love enjoying life.

 Not all of us are there

 Some of us are trapped

 In the eternal darkness

 Where the sun never shines

 Where there is no light

 No hope no escape



I cry rivers but no one sees

 It feels like I have been crying

 For eternity

 I have been in the darkness

 As long as I can remember

 I have always been bullied

 The laughingstock

 The one the other kids picked at beated

 And the bullying and abuse continued as I became teenager and later adult.

 I never fit in, I am odd, Strange, Aloof, I am ill

 All of the above seem to be enough to be tormented by others

 But I have had enough

 No more will I be bullied into silence

 No more will I be betrayed

 Dumped like garbage

 No more will others cause me to suffer



I see no reason to carry on

 As the pain aches within my soul

 I take the knife slashes my wrists

 The blood flows through my wrist and lay down in a pool of my own blood and tears.



Waiting for death to come

 Waiting for the peace I never I got in life

 My life is running out

 No more pain

 No more suffering

 The soul flies up ready to leave

 Body becoming still



The Goddess watches me.

 She takes me in Her arms

 Instead of taking my life as I expected

 She pushes the soul back into my body

 She cradles me as cough up some blood

 My heartbeat gets steady

 I am breathing

 I am crying in her arms as The Goddess speaks

 You can lay down to die

 And you won't be forced to suffer

 Cry these endless nights

 Or you can get up walk with me

 And I will help you

 Take care of you.

 It will be harsh days as well as bright ones

 There is so much for you to experience

 There are still seeds of possibilities in you my dear child.

 As long as you live they will struggle to be born.

 It is all up to my dear girl

 It just hurts so bad to be alone all the time

 People betraying me leaving me

 I have been so abused bullied all my life

 Not the last 5 years.

 No the worst was 10-20 years ago

 I can't forgive and forget

 I can't get over it.

 People thinks should be over it by now



I know you been left out and betrayed

 I will care for you. Tell me everything I am always around. I am closer to you than your own breath.

 Okay thank you, my lady

 I will give life another chance

With The Lady’s help encouragement

I got the strength I need to get on with my life









 

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