Traveling and thoughts

I have been in Ireland, Wales and South of England. It was amazing to travel in those Celtic countries it felt like the mother country for me. The nature is amazing and beautiful on the British Isles and Ireland. I took several of day tours in Ireland got to see a lot of ancient mystical magical nature there. I felt the Goddess presence there in a different way than I do in the nature of Sweden. Although I have found several of magical enchanting places here as well. But nothing tops my trips to Ireland, south of England Somerset Glastonbury. I completely loved those places. The Goddess temple is great. I meditated there and on Glastonbury Tor every day when I was there. I loved those magic pagan shops there. So many in the same place and so little money. I hope to be able to travel there again. I would love to go Ireland again as well. I hope to be able to get in better shape get better condition so I can hike and bike around in Ireland, see all those special places there. I would love to visit more in wales, Scotland and England as well. My last travels was pilgrimages to connect to the Goddess. I had a book called in the nature of Avalon with me. Meditations pilgrimages to use in Glastonbury, at chalice well, and the Tor. I can’t wait get there again. I feel like I have always belonged to The Lady. I would love to become a priestess of Avalon. I am that in my heart and soul even if I haven’t been able to go to any official training.

We have lovely forests, woodlands and botanical parks were I live I have to take train or bus a few hours to get there. My goal is try to get out there all seasons of the year. I now I will feel better because of that. I live in a city, I hate that I would rather be living on the countryside, near ocean or at most in the forest. I love the silence and peace from the forest, trees and flowers in general and the ocean. We have several lovely park and places to walk in Malmo, but it feels scary at times cause of crimes criminals out there. I wouldn’t recommend anyone walk there after dark but it is usually alright there. But of course it is always possible to be the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I use to channel The Lady regularly a several years ago with my best friend. We would do it with each other. One of us would call upon The Godddess and let Her take over and talk to the other person. It was nice, cool, and sometimes scary depending on the topic of the questions. I loved it most of the times and looked for into it. It was always nice to talk to Her. A few years ago we stopped the channelling due to our illness and issues getting worse. We needed time to heal, recover and learn to live again. I channel The Lady for myself a couple of times a year. My issue is that I don’t always know what’s real or what’s false what from Her, what’s my fantasy. Due to stress and anxiety it is hard to tell the difference. So I rarely do it. Unless The Goddess request it cause then it is at least strong enough for me to tell the difference. The past years it has been mostly how I can get more heathy, gain control of my life. My anxiety panic attacks has made it hard for me to listen, to what needs to be done, do what I can do and need to do to get better. I have often felt much embarrassment and shame for my inabilities to just get over stuff, just do what needs to be done. For several years I have felt that I am not worthy of being Hers, being Her priestess. I am off no use. I am just waste of spa ce actually. But that is just my low self-esteem and self-contempt that shines through. She has never mention anything like that. That I would be more brave, not shy away from Her challenges, my fears. She wishes I would see my power, what I actually can do about my life, not just focusing on all obstacles, misery in my way.  I tend to get pretty dark depressive only see suffering. But I am on meds now and are in therapy that helps me. And I pray and meditate about my issues what I need to do and ask for courage and strength to do it. I know I need to walk the road my own. I have to face the challenges not shy away from it.